i am want to publish something i wrote in my paper journal a little while ago:

my mind races, it goes and it goes where it stops nobody knows. this life under the sun, the journey called life it perplexes, it confuses, it brings laughter and pain to those who ask, and to those who don't. i fall i always fall, i restart to a crawl and even then i fall. yet to fall i have come realize it a great thing. Great is this life of trouble for without trouble where would i be?.....what i'm thinking. i'm thinking why am i doing this. this is pointless. this life i'm living is full of stuff, always something for to do, emerald, school, pico-sat, HS ministry, bible study. all these things to do and yet i only have to do them because i involve myself in them. this life full of things which are of importance. what matters? "nothing really matters" says linkin park. well something has to/. is it the use of gifts - do i even have gifts - really those are mine interesting - what next. or could it be to serve somewhere dedicating my life to the cause. to the cause of Christ. i will go out and tell people of what God is and what he offers - does this matter? does it? if i don't do it will someone else? what if I do it and dislike it - i'm following the great commission. commandments - is life about following those - do this and that - But oh no never do that. what matters? According to Paul love matters. what if i feel no love. Feel? what is "feeling love"? Love is lived not felt. Realize your loved don't look for a feeling and then you will be free.

I wanted to revisit these thoughts i had just to check and see if anything is changed - and i think something has - i think that i have a slightly clearer picture....a little more clarity perhaps and this journey.....love people and enjoy life. Carpe Diem.....life is so rich and people so needing love. huh.....neat.