crying followed by kneeling in silence. Life is so very weird and at this moment empty and sad. I feel the hope slipping away ever so slightly, I find joy in little. Not so much depressed as apathetic and unmotivated. Last night I began a fast that is to end Friday night with communion and then with Break-fast on saturday morning. This time around I've tried to be a little more thoughtful in my fast. I have 3 things that I'm fasting for: 1) revelation - whether it be a whisper, a neon sign, a dream of vision, some sort of revelation regarding my life and what direction or step to take, 2) to express my brokeness to my Father, 3) companionship - i greatly desire to meet my "soul" mate. Along with these goals I"m going to seek prayer more often and fervently. It's only been one day thus far, and well - not much. I just sort of feel apathetic -
caca waca.

27 July 2004

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