motivation

motivation is severely waining these days.....yesterday after driving up to kirkwood i had no enegery and at 2:30 took a 2.5 hour nap. this morning after sleeping 8 hours all i wanted to do was lay in bed - my eyes felt heavy and all i wanted to was to lay down and let them close. i'm not sure what exactly is going on inside, it's 3:30 now and other than being on a pointless conference call this morning i haven't done much at all today. i did do some reading in 2 Peter chapter 1 and i'm still mulling that over.
life is pretty crazy around here (inside my head), and if i didn't feel like i was sinking into some sort of depressive state or something then perhaps it wouldn't be so bad or if i could see some fruit being produced in my soul.
last night i read hebrews 1 and maybe it's all time to strengthen my faith.
one interesting tid bit is that back in May of '02 i blogged about prayerfully quitting my job and moving to kwood to work, and well it took about 2 years but if happened. and in that post i wrote that it could be a time of "spiritual training" for me. i pray that's actually occuring b/c unlike physical training, spiritual formation seems to be a bit nebulous. i'm trying to take it for what it is, to enjoy these days, praying that i'm absorbing what i should be and spending my time wisely.
i'm pretty sure i'm the problem, me and my perception of reality, my circumstances, and God.
the great mystery continues and i hope to contribute.........