the nauseating chicken scratch of my life plagues me as i close my eyes
sleeps runs from me as i contemplate my inadequacy, my failures, my current situation
i claim i want to lead in the revolution of the kingdom - where is the fruit?
i dream of being a phrophet in the reality of God's redemption - where is the fruit?
the plan i layout it met with affirmation, then why does my soul burn for more?
somehow in the midst of this bewilderment where i don't know whether to cry or scream love exists. a strange love that i see in the distance at the moment. a love that i wish only to have a taste of. my mind plays with me and i long for peace in this moment. for rest for my soul.
i read my words unmoved and longing.
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i struggle
within myself
wondering what words to offer you
your search, your Question
is between you and our Father
and yet
how i wish my words
could cool your head
speak to your heart
and remind you of graces
to deep to be seen
how deeply
His heart longs for you as well!
his face shines upon you
radiating only love
pure love
be encouraged, dear heart
this holy sorrow
you are feeling
will not overwhelm you
God is so faithful in his breaking of us-
he never leaves us there
he always restores our joy.
i love you.
my spirit
groans
utterances too deep-
may he break your heart
and restore you
may he draw you into his arms.
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