learning is sometimes a gut wrenching, wish i done this instead of that that experience. today i shared a little of my story and after i was done all i could think about was - oh i should have said this, or why didn't i say that, and i just felt like i didn't quite do was in my mind i was supposed to do. I felt like i let God down, like i didn't live up to my end of the bargain, but now i'm starting to think that perhaps i did - that just because i didn't give this long dramatic speech that God was successful in using. i guess the biggest thing i''m struggling with is whether or not i made him proud, if i did that then i am content. - i think too much.