is this really life? at times when i'm wandering around looking at things - i begin to think thoughts, to ask myself questions. at times i ask myself - is this really all that life has to offer? or is this really the path to take? the thought of working in building for 8, 9 or 10 hours a day seeing the outdoors framed by windows. catching sun rays only miniutes at a time during breaks and lunch. people strive for that - to achieve it and worry about losing it. is it even the fact of being in a building or is it rather the idea that i need to be here - locked in for this given amount of time. my free spirit rebels. and yet what else is there to do? and if you like what you're doing then so what if you're required to be there. If only - if only there was time for everything. if only there was time to indulge every interest and like of a person. for some strange reason i have this notion that there is more - perhaps its the limitation of it all. i don't want my world to be that small - i want it to continue expand to grow in different arenas different venues. it limits me to have to dedicate that much time to one thing. yes my world grows and expands while there but only in one scene of the entire play. on and on it goes - forever my thoughts on this subject and people will tell me this and that and think about it this way - the thing is - i bet i already have. Inspite of all this i will continue to live to move to make choices to go - i will not sit in thought paralization - (paralysis by analysis) the best part is - is that i don't have to figure it out - my task is to open my heart for reformation, to use my gifts as a blessing, to produce good, to continue the relationship, and in so doing - i will get there - that's the promise i have - that my path - my journey will ultimately end in the phattest party ever and forever - the limitations will be removed and i will fully know - that's part of the gift - and it is good. very good.