i have this urge to write even though i feel as though there is nothing in particular i want to write about. A stream of consciousness is in order perhaps. Enough is enough is a good place to start - i've been thinking that it's time for me to move onto something else -to move onto - you know i had another idea for a book. Maybe it doesn't necessarily even have to turn into a book, but I would like to go around and just "interview" people who are associated with the church and find out what they think, what they see as perhaps an upcoming shift, do they go to services, what are their gripes. the impetus behing all of this would be merely to get a pulse on God's movement in our current time. There is a revolution looming on the horizon, not only in christianity. The operation of society must change, this cannot continue like they are - for instance education - the number of people attending college, and graduate schools is unheard of. A college degree is becoming like high school degree so people are then seeking out even higher education to further develop their schools, not that there is anything wrong with that, but how long can that continue? We are going to begin to spend more and more of lives in school studying things, and there are two observations I have about all this - tonight at dinner there were three of us who had finished college and weren't sure what was next, but it looked as though the degree we had would not play a major role, in fact it seemed we were turning our backs on it. which leads to - how many people just go to college because its the expected thing to do? Not the answer - education is in need of reform - from the ground up - i can't remember the other observation on the moment. NO longer are people going to work solely for money - it's loosing it's luster. The other night out of the 6 people that were there, all 6 will have, if not already, an undergraduate degree. Then on top of that i have finished grad school, another was enrolled in it, an the other would be applying in the next few months. CraZy. insightful linguist is what the IQ test told me today - i have an IQ of 131 and I'm in insightful linguist. How acccurate this test is I'm not sure - intelligence in definitely one of my gifts, other people point it out and I'm beginning to notice it more and more, I'm have the ability to accomplish "commendable" things - (grad school, ironman) - so this all adds up to something and I want to use this something for God's glory - where should I start seeking? what should i continue to do? How can I feel so lost? How can i not pray more than I do? how can I not meditate on the words of God? whatever. I want to retreat away for a few days - just read and pray - sit in silence and reflect. It feels good to hear the clacking of the keys on this keyboard - no more putting off writing = this is a craft I wish to get better at - to commicate in written word that which i have difficulty expressing verbally. the vastness of life is truly amazing and the more I realize my curruptedness the more I think God is crazy. How can He love? I'm so amazed. Father your love amazes me - i'm so blessed.