what if it all just went away. In one all ecompassing sweep things dramatically changed, the desires I have been praying about and been getting anxious about - what if they were suddenly answered or fulfilled. What then would happen, would I continue to kneel in faith, would i continue to trust and put my thoughts and emotions out there into the air? Not having this be the case i'll leave it at that. If i wrote a book would people read it? Who really cares what I have to say? My fear brings these questions to the surface, that is why if i write a book i think i shall write it to myself, I know i would read it. What good is He? i think a great question, the small things, do well in the small things and then what magically something will happen? Is that how it works, or training this is training for the great event, well hell training gets old and tiresome so the expression of exasperation is only to be expected and warranted. To reject it, to say its not normal, to try and move beyond it is craziness. Embrace the frustration speak about it, in faith get on my knees and come to Him, no i don't feel his presence, and no nothing "feels" different when I get up. Not even the morning after does anything feel different, but in faith i will daily return to this, in faith. I put my trust in Him, as he wants, and if in then end nothing happens (which i seriously doubt) then I'm out only a time, when really i just would have wasted it doing something else anyhow like freaking watching TV or something. In faith i return.
What does a spiritual steak look like? it's just nuts - like emerald nuts.