back from NZ and the ironman - i have recorded some thoughts on paper and now turn to this. I flew in Friday night - it's now sunday morning. In that time I was hoping to connect with friends and share some pictures and stories. But alas for some reason that has been somewhat thwarted. I've had some short conversations with people but as of yet have not connected with anyone. Crazy - and all this does is drive my desire for a companion further. I imagine and rememeber what it was like to have someone waiting for you when you get back, so excited that you're back that they specifically set aside time as soon as you get back so that they can spend it with you. I remember those days and long for them again. So of course, being as I am I begin thinking what is it that I am doing or not doing that has precluded me from having this? I'm thinking that perhaps it's because I have not invested enough time in people's lives to where the connection they feel toward me would propel them to such action. it's all a bit bizarre, and some of my feelings are not doubt tied to my sensitivity regarding this subject. Regardless it's what i'm experiencing. I'm sitting back to trying to learn from this - what do i need to change? In this season what is God trying to teach me? Is He even involved in this madness? One thing in all of this that i must be thankful for though is my family. God bless 'em. They were at the airport to see me and the rest of us returning. Andrew, Amber, Uncle Milt, and Aunt Angie. I'm glad they were there, and it was neat spending the day just kinda lounging in Morgan Hill, taking care of some things. Yet as much as I try to appreciate that - my ____ nature leaves my longing for something more. I grow weary of it.