i am running, falling, running, the heavy air laiden with golden orange surrounds, it fills my lungs...and I can't relax. My mind is churning, burning with thoughts that I wish not to think, I fall again, continously falling. My life, my journey is full of stumbling, full of blubbering, replete with contemplation and unwarrented self-criticism. Always on guard for fear of what might come out of this dirty soul, never enjoying the moment for fear of what I might do.....yet not always. Circumstances, my surroundings, the company that is around, my environment, the ambiance of it all greatly impacts my disposition, the company of those not sharing a common spirit propels me to be on guard, constantly thinking of how I should and act behave. Should I have laughed at that joke? How should I respond to that question? Too many personal mind games, allows me to realize the lack of spiritual blood flowing through these human viens. Immersion into love that is always present. Who am I.