run thin. this warped human (or not warped) makes his way through this thing called life. so many things. so many things. so many things bombard my mind, they overtake my brain waves and infiltrate my being. I am overwhelmed. so many things. so many things going on, yet they are all of my doing, my initiative my saying yes. some I love some I like and some I don't really care for at all. yet I carry on. they bog me down my spirit causing my attitude to..well basically SUCK! and that troubles my spirit a vicious cycle. My spirit, or emotions maybe a better way to say it, are downtroden, yet in my mind I know that I am set free. Jesus has set me free, yet I let things bog me down, affect me in ways they should not, so my mind runs into conflict with my emotions, feelings of despair, not despair, more just tired of running in this hampster wheel. Jesus has set me free all I need to do to realize that freedom is accept and live it....it is not something felt, but realized and lived. My life has become a death to me, my lifestyle sucks my time it robs me of time with my sweet loving father who really just wants to be with me and I yearn for Him. To experience his presence, and even if I have a million things to do I just need to say no and stop doing them and give my Father some time, and yet when this happens I return to "reality" and right away I realize all things that I need to do, the things that I have ignored and neglected in order to have a life.....I feel as though I could be doing things constantly and accomplish certain things and yet never accomplish anything........
Get over yourself you arrogant prick....realize this life is not about you and your light troubles. Live in the now, live for the only one that matters, who cares what people think, and yet when I write that my mind tells me that you have commited to certain things and not completing them would reflect poorly upon the person whom I represent. Father help me to quiet my mind and relax....to relax to gain eternal perspective and just enjoy life as it was meant to be enjoyed..........to many personal mind games..............wrap your loving arms around because I feel like crap.