the morning came and i wasn't really ready to start the day so i snoozed for a bit longer...drove to matt's house and off to church we went......today i learned a little more about the love of God....more about how His love is a wounded love....much like we experience in some of our human relationships...however the wounding he feels and experiences is far greater than anything we can fathom.....i wound him.....i turn my back on him tell him i don't need him......speak as though he doesn't exist....sometimes even cursing his name - wounding his heart.....and yet he stands with arms open wide continually chasing after us so that he might wrap us in his arms of love.....to gently cradle our face in his silk hands to whisper to us the great love he has for us --- if only we accept it...its a free gift for everyone.....i felt his love this morning..........and from there matt and i moved to the Giants game......never been to one and it was fun....the joy of being with your best friend sharing stories and laughs......washing grapes in the grocery store only to have the water splash right back into your face......simple things in life that bring so much to the soul........alas it ends and the drive home my thoughts turn to myself and my life and i begin to think - what am i going to do? where am i going to live? what will my thesis topic be? what will i do when graduation comes? all these great questions begin to weigh heavy on my spirit........so i began thinking of things i should do.......i thought of some things and was about to share them.......but now i sit here writing this and my thoughts turn to this.......IT DOESN'T MATTER all that much so long as what i do is done in love.......sure living life that way opens yourself up to heart ache - to wounded love - to rejection - but because of what i have experienced i want to share....b/c it can also bring joy - and refreshment to the soul.................lunatic over and out.