emotions run ranpent. this last weekend was one the coolest i've had....perhaps even one of the best of my life....and then today happened and coming down off that mountain i was bombarded by negativity today - craziness - i took a nap and spent some time with my Father and felt his peace......and then tonight at youth group things were going the meeting was over and then i asked about the next teaching meeting and was informed that a "committee" was being put together and that and this moment in time i am not part of it.....which really hurt......what the hell......we fill these survey things out to tell of what we like - of what we feel passionate about - people tell you that they think that you have this gift, that you're good at.....you want to do it...but oh - you are not on the committee......what the hell....that was a slap in the face....a very frustrating thing that i'm going to need to sit and think about...am i being unreasonable? should i just go with it? or maybe this is the straw that broke the camels back - the point at which i say - ok enough is enough - the leadership of this whole group the way things are run just isn't working out...i think i would be better off serving somewhere else.....a place where i will be pushed stretched and caused to grow - is this that stretching that pushing - i don't think so - i think this is another oversite among the many that occur in this group.........maybe i'm overreacting - i don't know - i do know that i am wounded at this point rightly so or not i am......and i will take these to the person whom is eargerly awaiting to mend them......i've been feeling a tug or push to maybe move on in ministry - today i was at the rose garden praying and i was talking to God and telling Him about my situation and how i want to be in the place he wants me to be serving, asking that it be a place a totality, community and then tonight this happens........at this moment in time i take it as indication of perhaps things to come.......but in prayer i proceed......my mind will be churning tonight, mulling things over, reflecting and asking......wow - i wouldn't ask for anything else.