i'm angry - i'm not sure why but i am angry - my soul is dry, my head confused, and my heart lost........it shouldn't be so should it? how can some people be so sure of what they're going to do with their life...i'm tired....i'm tired of thinking about this stuff....i'm tired......i need help......i want to cry but can't.....hardened heart for unknown reasons.....lost in this physical place, with seldom a clue - no i don't know aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! everything annoys me right now - the guys in the room next door playing music - making noise with the computer - stop it my nerves are shot my motivation lost somewhere - i feel like a shell and when i pray i feel as thougth i'm talking to myself.....Father i know you are there and i trust you please help - brake whatever it is, bring down to where i need to be refine me.....paralyzed and cold i sit writing this nonsense down and for what reason - am i going to actually help anyone with all this nonsense...is this a worthwhile time investment.......i don't know what is going on and you know i probably never will - the only thing that i can take heart in is that i know God is working iin all this - at least that is what i put my trust in - foolhardy or not that's where it is.......................................................I'M TIRED OF MYSELF.