i wonder how much life is spent living in the kingdom of God........are we there more often then we think or less? from within i can feel my soul burning gaining in restless, it yearns for more than it currently has......it's difficult to live in today when you feel as though you belong in tomorrow. not new thoughts or new feelings especially given the last year, but dramatized reinactment of the not so distant past. the craziness or difficulty in all this is while i do desire something other - it's difficult to say what that other is. by God's grace i make it through this dessert, His love lifts me to another plane i am able to transcend some of this - but inevitably i come crashing down. i liken it to a shirt that just doesn't fit right - it's too tight in all the wrong places and irritates your skin - to where you all you want to do is rip it off and put on another shirt - the misery of it all is that you can seem to figure out how to take the thing off - then there's the probelm of finding another shirt - of which there are none around (a begging question: maybe you don't need a shirt at all). things i wrestle with - i continue the struggle because i know it's good for my soul - i pray that it may be used for the glorification of our Father and His son.