the things of this world annoy me. they pull me away from the spiritual reality that I try and live and alter my thinking to thoughts of this place - a place i don't belong in. struggling through -- reaching, stretching to get outside of here outside of the needs of this place --- i've tasted the kingdom the life and wish only to live there, my imperfection limits me, it drags back into this place.......what if i just show up and hitch hike my way there and lay my needs before those attending? i yearn for love, encouragement, a word from those close that says you have an impact on me.....your life, you, you touch me, someone to say i need you....................i dream of her touch, the smell of her hair - i close my eyes and imagine it all.........ah what a beautiful day that will be.........exhausted i try to sleep ----- but sleep will not be had ---- not at this moment ---- the insomnia takes over and i reach out to my King.....and i wish to comtemplate to be in his presence, the fatigue interferes and limits me.......confused, frustrated, longing, the hope i had two days ago passed with the changing of time, and]
i grow tired of my fickleness,
i grow tired of this season
i grow tired of this scene,
i yearn for more,
i yearn to be beckoned.