seeing #2

I wonder about the first century followers of the way and why it doesn't seem that doubt fit into their expression of faith and perhaps it is exactly because they didn't have anything to doubt. Their notion of what it meant to follow after the Master was something they made up on the spot and didn't look backward to try an emulate what once was. After all the kingdom of God was within them and it was up to them to try and live their life individually and communally in such a way that the good news was lived and spread. I remember years ago reading Acts and thinking "man if only our faith expression was like that, what were they doing, and let's do that." What they were doing was what made sense to them. It was up to them to live out this message of good news and they embraced what they learned from the Rabbi. Paul wrote about throwing off everything that hinders in order to pursue the dream. So we take this age of doubt as a gift, take what we know, the history of God's goodness and works and move forward full of hope and light. The psalms are replete with dismayed followers calling out only to reconcile that God is worthy of trust and they will move forward further into His love even if the great mystery is seemingly silent.

This is something that i've been wrestling with a little personally - the silence of my maker. I see his fingerprints all around me, and hear his voice in others, and yet when I sit still to behold Him, it's silence. I've been continuing to just sit quietly whispering to Him and though I hear nothing I feel the persistence paying off, a presence felt. So I continue to go to that place, journeying forward.

already then.