learning.......processing

moments of clarity obscured by the gleeming light of reality before me
my mind circles around thoughts looking for time to develop them
the afternoon plans altered hysterically by unforseen circumstances
circumstances that i helped to create,
in trying to fix the mess it grew to a thought shattering
peace stealing, hunger striking phenom

could it be that the biggest mistake we make is living with hands clenched
wrapped tightly around those things we see as good, those around echoing the same
the energy it takes to keep those fingers wrapped around our desires
life abundant, life to the full asks us - "can you live open handed"
"will you trust me, will you open your hand to me?"
things will be left, but the posture, the gratitude is different
it's Thou rather than I

i'm being taught to live open handed and it's becoming more than a mere cognitive perception of how to live. the season is changing and i see in the future a time when i will leave everything, selling what i can to embark and the next volume of my life. only to return to where i left it all to start fresh, to come full circle. the time is coming but it isn't now, now is the time for what's at hand. the adventure never ceases and the excitement of the future catches my breath.

alas i cannot loose today in tomorrow.

peace.

03 August 2005

2 comments:

annelies said...

very exciting stuff really. but do you find sometimes the things which have the greatest possibility for excitement also arouse anxiety? as far as your comment about living for "Thou rather than I"- it brings us back again to the greatest commanment and often the hardest one to put into practice. cheers to you as you embrace and work through all of that.

adam said...

excitement and anxiety - yes for me they usually travel hand in hand.