I've been on a blog hiatus of sorts; which if you visit here or subscribe to my feed you might have notice. It's not something that I planned or am being intentional about. I've sat many times blogger window open and nothing comes forth. It's a different season internally for me these past few weeks. My internal intensity and ever working mind have slowed to some degree for rest -- I guess. Plus I've been on vacation: house boating, and puerto vallarta.
Also though I feel a strange shift inside where maybe I'm settling into myself more and the anxious side of my intensity is cooling down. Lately I'm not interested in analyzing things or trying to figure out answers to questions that aren't meant to be answered. I know this sounds simple and juvenile but with all the intentionality that has been my life for the last few years I'm ready to slow that down and enjoy life a little more. Creating space for the serendipity of my maker. Taking extended time off has once again awakened a broader perspective on the vastness life.
Switching books. Lately I've been thinking about the power of the Spirit that exists and how we can be instruments that harness that power. I imagine myself riding the wave and channeling it through my personality for sake of love in this world. I get subtle feelings of its existence and presence and reflect on times when I've felt tapped in -- weilding it in certain circumstances.
2 comments:
I find myself simultaneously drawn and repulsed by the idea of the manifestation of the power of the Spirit...my gut wants to see it so badly, not in a Benny Hinn sort of way but as you describe "...channeling it through my personality for sake of love in this world." Yet my brain wants to relegate it to a box that I can point to and say, "yep, there it is." but try to make all the change happen on my own power.
my hope is for your pursuit Adam.
I think a lot about wanting to enjoy the days. relax. enjoy the here and now, what we have. it's hard for me to find that balance between how God might want me specifically to live. that is, having the proper educated understanding of global economics and resourcing wisely. starting with money, using it wisely. living as an american and having such consumerist desires and romantic notions always flowing through my head and heart. it's difficult to allow myself to enjoy things, even good things. it's difficult to know what things are ok, and how much effort i should take to make things better. and until they get better, is it okay to enjoy this or that? or purchase this or that?
this might be vague. but what u said brought this out. because i think about it almost every day.
last night, i thought.. what if i was told the news that i was dying of cancer. what would matter most then? and i went and layed down w/ my sons and just looked at them. and stroked their hair and their faces, and talked to them. it seemed as if for me in my own small world. w/ my limitations. my sons are a mysterious hope. and a priveledge. my Dad told me, when u look at children, it's like looking into the face of God.
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